Humans of GG7

A strange nostalgia kicked in after having watched TVFs Cubicles.

Not that I could relate to it, nope. Not at all.

On the contrary, I was a bit amazed (read: guilt) that I wasn’t able to recollect the floor plan of the place I used to go every day for almost 8-9 months. I was able to recall the second sitting space I was assigned to, a short stay of 6 or so months perhaps, although I still have not been able to remember the layout quite very well for the latter too. I don’t remember where the lifts opened to, where the entrance door was, where was that secret/bigger elevator but what I do remember are the people and their idiosyncrasies; the library, the lunch zone, the cooks (strangely) and the girl at the counter who used to collect Sodexo coupons, small garden space where we used to walk on purpose to kill time post-lunch and the staircase where I and my small gang often had shitty tea and coffee whilst we planned systematic disappearances from ODC during my stint in the 1^st team.

I cannot imagine the detached and disconnect feeling I must have had for a place because I am not the one who forgets layouts, especially not when it has been just a little over two years! And my hatred for Gram is known to most people, I had/have made it very obvious to everyone by this time now. So much so, that I used to go home after 5-6 months, though people used to do fortnightly stunt for the same distance to their houses, I chose not to go just because I didn’t want to sulk on coming back and adjusting again to this misery.

It’s not strange then that I have zero pictures of the office space/cubicle. I have in fact no pictures of team gatherings/lunches, etc. I do have, some of course, of the few people but they are mostly taken outside of the office. Was it a conscious decision on my part? I don’t think so. Subliminally, perhaps?! But I had never intended to not click a picture on purpose.

On our first day, the three of us I, Dhonchu and Chadda saab reported to our then lead S. We said hellos to people around. We didn’t stay long that day but the very next time that I and D got to meet the teammates, who were not all in the same team as I later realized and had a very unusual conversation. I will mix-up names now as to who said what but H, boss and maybe Sun asked us, “so, what are your plans?”

“Plans?”
“Yes, see we are all the same age, more or less. And we all have some ambitions. We will be frank that If you want to study and take an exam, it can be done! You just have to then prioritize things. There was so and so in the last team who cleared a bank exam/ssc/ etc. (pardon my knowledge for these exams guys but get the essence of it). Focus a bit less here, do not take calls from home (if possible), we don’t know yet how things will be in this ODC now but you can always go and study in the library or here in the stairs...but make sure your immediate senior does not see you. Try not to let them know. Sit on your seat, do questions if you get time...Whatever you do, you’ll get a C band. Best case a B. So, it’s up to you.”

Imagine if you get to hear these things, the first time you “unofficially” meet.

“Ummm… well, I do not plan to stay here forever. Besides I am a chemical engineer. I had asked for a health/pharma related project, to say the least. But this, telecom? I have my doubts if I will like it at all.” I said.

“So what do you want to do?”

“I want to study further but haven’t yet decided where and how. Not GATE definitely.”

I thought this was self-explanatory.

Chadda saab meanwhile had taken a liking to his immediate senior and was never part of our gang. D had got a good seat at the end, away from everyone’s gaze but he used to say that senior citizens have an eye for his seat because they could doze off there easily. And we did get to see one of them actually doing that xD. I was happy to get a seat next to a pillar; that meant I was also cut off from one side and nobody sat next to me for quite some time anyway.

Having said that, over the course of the next few months we realized it is easier said than done. Studying without making it obvious, is a task. Especially when you are surrounded by people who hover over you like drones.

I and D had become the best of partners in crime. From disobeying in not having to take calls from home due to unavailability of the internet or laptop or because we had an imaginary gym to go to or any other creative reason that you could think about, to bunking and to sharing a humble thali that we would refill shamelessly.

It wasn’t easy being a rebel (and I was a rebel with a cause; I knew I had to take THE exam). I did feel bad on occasions and was perturbed by the constant nudging we got. Ironically, the team I was assigned to had no real work for quite some time. I was entering KT (knowledge transfer) in my worksheet for over 6 months. By this time, I had realized that there was no real work happening and since I was the youngest I was made the scapegoat, every time. Though I must admit here I did give them a hard time. I have always been told not to entertain nonsense from anyone and hence I had openly criticized and voiced my opinion, not verbally but over emails :) This annoyed them greatly. How do I know? Feel free to imagine.

By this time I had taken no bunk days off but I had managed to steal time for myself to prepare for the exam. NO wonder I remember the library and staircase so well! The others too had taken attempts at several of the exams they were aiming for but it was so funny and even now when I recall how sometimes we knew the reason for someone’s absence and had to pretend as if we were clueless and how sometimes the 4-5 of us used to guess who others were preparing who did not admit upfront. We would tease each other, caught each other red-handed but if you think of it, I actually was pushed to dislike the office thingy even more because I could see that things were running the same with or without anyone’s presence. It is still a mystery to me, how were things done when people who actually worked, unlike me, disappeared.

Over the course of the next few months, several leads were appointed. There were guest appearances from a certain Dude and N (who had let us say more experience at being ghosts in office). Many new people had come in (Another S and Fruity to begin with). Strategies were planned and revised. Also, I realized how betrayal feels like when one of the new people, you thought was a part of the gang, turned out to be a lead and who knew exactly all your plans and used them against you. Tch tch tch, office politics, I tell you. But I did take my exam and then the inevitable was announced. We (I and D) were to be released :D

I don’t remember the order of events again but boss was the first one to have cracked an exam of her choice. Meanwhile, I got a new project pretty soon, in the same building but on a different floor. And what better luck than having absolutely no one around from your team. By this time I have had enough experience to guide the other ‘naïve’ people. The best, I had learned to not take things to heart, be it the occasional appreciation, the scolding or the nagging over calls or the trivial issues like raise in salary in the new quarter, etc. I could freely read and write my SOPs, LORs but I regretted not having this freedom before when it was kind of crucial for me to get a good score when I was preparing.

However, it was not mentally easy this time again, I had applied or was in the process of applying and it was nerve-wracking to wait day in day out for a response. It was at this time again, when one of my beloved senior from college asked me for a trip to Leh. I was in a dilemma. I told her I would love to go but I am new in a project and I don’t know how they will take this and I don’t want to invite misery for the little time I will be here. To which she said, “Look, I will also quit or probably I will be on notice period myself. Do not think about these things. I won’t obviously force you but decide wisely. I’ll go anyway.”

Do you realize the impact this had on me, again? I would do things gladly just to make someone’s notice period memorable, especially when they are so magnanimous! And also because I knew that I was also waiting to get out of the job eventually. I had come back with a calmer mind and clarity. Cliché, but yes. And in the next 2 months or so I heard from the uni of my choice and rest is history.

Long story short: I always think what would have been the outcome had I liked my job? Had I made friends with people for whom this was their best place? Had I also been in a team where there were parties on weekends? Had I been one of them? I know a lot of friends who loved their work and are studying now like myself. Perhaps, I would have started a year later with my masters or I would not have been so adamant to leave and would still be there somewhere. Who knows?  

To my small gang in my 1^st project, know you guys were awesome! I may not be able to recall my floor plan unfortunately, I might not have amazing pleasant memories of going out on every other weekend and exploring the city but I am glad for most of us are doing what we had wanted to do. And to the other’s: just hang in there a bit more, you’ll eventually do, if that’s what you really want to!